I recently listened to this song by Darius Rucker. My emotions became overwhelming as the words sank in. The song is about time flying as you raise your kids.
Being a new mom I want to not only share my feelings with you, our friends and family- and I'm sure a few strangers and friends of friends, but I also want to write them down to look at in the future.
I must begin this by saying that I just got home from the mall with Jess. Jake has hardly fussed today since 7 this morning. It's now 3pm and he's laying next to me on the floor on his floor mat on his belly and he's burying his head and then looking up at me with a huge grin on his face, then burying his head again. I think it's his version of peek-a-boo. :) So, needless to say we're having a good day. We do have our share of bad days, too. (my disclaimer...haha)
I have been thinking about how my expectations of being a mom are comparing to how I thought I would feel and what I thought would be my priorities at this time. I'm finding more differences than I thought!
Mostly I am just overwhelmed with this new role. Not as far as stress but as for the emotions I feel for this boy and my life and our future. Things are better now, in every single way. Yes, we carry more stuff with us everywhere. And we often stop whatever we're doing, wherever we are- to feed, change, or hold him. But this only makes all of the eating out, shopping, road trips, etc better. I thought I'd think of him/his things as more of a hassle. But I don't. I love packing his diaper bag before each outing. I love holding him - even during a meal when we're eating out. I love getting him out of his bed after he wakes up. I never knew something so tiny could bring so much joy. You hear your whole life that you will feel this way about your kids. I knew my baby would be special but I just couldn't understand it until I had my own. I find myself excited with each new thing he does, but sad that he is, in fact, growing so fast. Today was the first day I had the back part of his stroller upright, with him sitting up. He was just sitting there like a 'big boy'! How bittersweet. Who could've told me that him sitting in an upright position could pull at my heartstrings? I would've thought that they were crazy.
All I can say is that I feel that I have more than I deserve. God has blessed my life in many ways! My family is up there at the very top. I can't think of a time that I've been happier, a love any deeper, a boy any more perfect for me. Thank you, God, for giving me this blessing and privilege of being a Mom. For giving Jeremy and I (and the rest of our family) a thicker bond and more fun than we could've hoped for.
Here are the lyrics... surely I'm not the only one they've touched! :-)
He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It's gonna be OK
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on‘
Cause it won't be like this for long
Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long
Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on
‘Cause it won’t be like this for long
It won’t be like this for long
I know that there will be trials raising our kids in the future, but I've often thought that God gives us babies for a reason! You just fall so madly in love that you have such a foundation and bond so that you don't disown them as teenagers. Oh, how Jeremy and I are loving and cherishing this sweet phase of Jake's life!
smiling!
looking away
talking
sticking tongue out
I think I took this as we left the parking lot. :)
Daddy and Jake EARLY Easter Morning :) You can tell this by looking closely at Jeremy's eyes :)
Uncle Shad and Aunt Courtney with Jake
videocamera, case, twilight dvd, and a sweet card!
Jakey was worn out on the way home!!!
